That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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