That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
