I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
