I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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