I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
