Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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