The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Randomize
