I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
