I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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