In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
