so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
50% drunk capacity currently
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
