guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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