Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
