I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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