he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
