Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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