Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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