Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
