What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
