dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Randomize
