Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
