I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
