She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
