So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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