aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
