I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I pour the whiskey from now on
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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