Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You are the jesus of drinking
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
