if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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