Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Houston, we have a blender
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
