Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
