And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
