I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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