2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
