This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
