We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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