Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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