just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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