Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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