did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
