Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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