Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Who died my cat blue again?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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