omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
