Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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