i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
