i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
