why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
