her vagine was all disorganized.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
