well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
