Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
did i just pee glitter
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
