that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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