I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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