We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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