3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
