wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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