Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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