You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
