Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
