so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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