She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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