I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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